marshmallow-y

like a snowman in the snow

was at Sophie’s yesterday night.

i had a blast. got to see her whole collection of our past letters, her diary.. just brings back a lot of memories.

the greatest thing about Sophie is that; she’s willing to still accept people again, even after a big disaster. and i can somehow kinda relate to that. Sophie makes the effort to stay.

and i think it’s hard to get that from most people nowadays.

what you wanted

It’s been only an hour but they’re still in the room. And i’m eavesdropping, as per normal. Listening to their arguement was never my intention but I should be used to it by now. Every day I kept on imagining how it would be like for me to talk to a shrink instead. Oh, how different things would be. All I ever wanted was for my family to be whole again…

not one more day of this

“got up on the wrong side of life today..”

i know i’ve not been around much lately. but you can’t expect me to be there for you 24/7. i have my own life to lead. not that i’m saying you’ve got no control over it. but you wanted so much more than that. and i can’t give that to you.

someone used to tell me, that it’s never enough to please “people like you”. and i couldn’t agree more. you can’t even see just how much i’ve sacrificed for you. the things that i’ve done, has always been for you. how i’ve put so many things on hold, just for you. you weren’t even thinking about me. you were thinking about you.

and if i had wasted another minute of my time trying to make things right between us just now, you wouldn’t even appreciate it. instead, you’d make me feel all guilty inside.

did you know that i took the initiative to come home as soon possible, just so that i could spare you some time? do you know how tiring it is to just solve your problems for you, let alone, listening to it?

everything was ok yesterday. so what i don’t understand is; why must you always start with all the stupid mood swings, and still expect me to stay home if you’re gonna choose to ignore me?

i don’t know which is worse; the fact that you keep on calling me when i’m outside, when you can actually talk to me once i get back home,

or when i wasted my breath solving your problems for you, only to find out that you took that gaysh*t’s advice in the end instead.

there’s a billion other things i’m mad about. but i tried my very best to put off all the pain for another day.

there’s alot going on in my life i never told you about. so i really don’t need you to ruin my day for me over something silly. cuz as far as i know, i don’t have as much freedom as other girls of my age out there.

so don’t make it sound like i don’t deserve any freedom at all.